crush seems like such an immature term... like junior high... do adults use this term... do adults get "crushes" like a kid like me gets... basically my question is... should i find a new term to describe what developed today... cuz at the ripe old age of 19... i feel i should start acting like an adult... and it that means no more using the term crush... well then thats a sacrifice ill make
so im scared about tomorrow... and its not like its anything big... i just always think that everything i say and everything i do will somehow impact the future... sometimes i think i just try too hard...
... be back tomorrow
Well, I am almost done reading it... and i am relieved cuz its taken me like months... i wish i had more time to read... but its like whenever i find time to i get relaxed and fall asleep... so therefore the bus is the only place...
however this book has actually made me relook at my beliefs a bit, as well as change my view on what Christianity was like a thousand years ago... one of the main things i have noticed through reading this book is that in the days of y'or, they weren't so caught up on sins of vice like a lot of christians are today... like i go to a Christian college and there are the big 3, drinking, drugs, and sex, and doing any of those are the supreme evil, and betraying a friend to tell an administrator is not only not wrong, its holy... however Dante (and im assuming much of Christiandom back then) had it flipped around, the emphasis was on things like being trustworthy and not malicious, while incontinence was still wrong, but just seen as a weakness not the most evil of sins...
On the other side of everything is that this book has actually made me think more about my beliefs in regards to things like heaven... one of my favorite aspects of this book is that when he is in "heaven" he even says that this isnt heaven, its just that his human form could not take the immense joy of the true heaven, so he is in the "heavens" instead (planets... as representations of what heaven is)... this book has caused me to look at my life and see a few things that need improvement... like my pride... i am a pretty proud person, actually i am quite full of myself at times... and i recognize now that that can be taken to an extreme that in not beneficial to me... also in heaven he goes through different reasons for people to act good... and really enjoy that part (im actually only half way through it right now) because it actually gives me something to identify with... like the first one is for honor... people do right becuase they feel honor when they do it... which is the lowest form... the next is love... some people have such an immense love for people that they do right for them.. if you understand (its late im getting less and less coherent i understand) ...
so yeah... to wrap up since im tired... i really liked reading this book.. its a classic... it is AMAZING poetry if you are into the whole mechanics of literature thing... its super deep, and i think if you enjoy reading great works of literature the ENTIRE divine comedy should be on your list
She's still beautiful... and I don't think that'll ever change... I just wish I could call like i could a year ago
She looked me in the eyes... and moved on... and I did too until I see that picture again
But what the heck am I doing wasting time on this... I guess it's just that picture still makes me smile... and there isn't much wrong with that... no more tears
I have a feeling I'll be writing a lot about this movie... too much to write on... basically i watched it and one scene struck me... it talks about Jude Law's characer telling this story about a time he was hanging out with Shania Twain and this guy basically tells him he only says that story to impress people with the fact that he knows Shania Twain and that he doesnt need stories to impress people... and like people kind of know me as a story teller... and this is the first time ive ever wondered if that wasnt such a good thing...
So i dont know... I tell a lot of stories... people like my stories... and i like that people like my stories... so ive just been thinking if maybe these stories are a cover or something... like do i tell them to impress people becuase deep down i dont impress myself or something... or maybe is storytelling just part of who i am, some people play sports, i weave fabulous tales... this is why when you start thinking about why you behave the way you do... you get messed up
Here's a little song for you that's I've been listening to a lot
"We should probably get used to this but we don't"
So i watched this movie and I dont really even know what to say. I mean you leave it just feeling dirty... (SPOILER WARNING... not that it really matters) ... in summary its about a 16 yr old kid who is addicted to having sex with virgin girls... and like 12-13 yr old girls at that... one girl that he has sex with finds out she has HIV and is trying to tell him. A lot of bad things happen in the middle (they beat up and you are led to beleive beat to death a guy who didnt deserve anything, they show like 10 yr old kids smoking pot, they show a lot of very graphic stuff) ... in the end the girl trying to tell the main character never gets to, instead she gets drugged and raped by his best friend while the main character has sex with two virgins in the same day... assumably, she never gets to tell him... so there is no closure, no sense of resolution no matter how crappy it may be... the way it ended just made you feel like life sucks and there is nothing you can do about it... i can go all night talking about existentialism and the western mindset of retribution... but i think anyone who reads this understands those enough to apply them to this movie... life sucks and there is nothing you can do about it... and the western world has this thing for beleiving that in the end the bad guy will get punished and the good guy (or girl here) will be rewarded... unfortunately that doesnt happen... and you just feel odd about it...
Many think this movie is too graphic... however it is real... i remember thinking a lot of the same things that those kids did... i just had the control to stay away from them... so its not like its senseless... its reality... raw... and some people cant handle that... however the movie also served no purpose to me... i guess at the time it was like a "wake up call" to parents or something... but i think if i recognize that its reality then i dont need that wake up call... so for me it just made me feel dirty... so i didnt like it too much... if anything it just reminded me to be thankful to my parents and to whoever else cared enough to guide me in some way... cuz i like my life... and im glad im in a better position than those kids...
I really want her to come down today ... its been like 3 months at least since i saw her... and considering up til 7 months ago we spent just about every day together... she is missed a lot... well... im just waiting for a phone call now to see if she can make it
So far I am really liking Vox... lots of neat features... so neat in fact i am willing to bring back an adjective not used since 2nd grade... I wish you could like actually design your profile though... at least a background picture or something... I think i will be using this a lot... soon maybe ill make an actual post... this one is kinda lame
I just added this image from my photobucket ... and i didnt have to copy and paste HTML tags!!!
This ones from istockphoto !!! Again... no copy and pasting ... oh... btw... i can do this... i can actually do one better the triple bender!!! ill take a picture soon
This is what me and Kendrick are watching right now... the best show ever! MAN THESE FEATURES ARE COOL!
K... so i was going to go on... but you get the point... i am enjoying discovering Vox... i hope people i know join... or else im going to have to *GASP* meet people via Vox
